Before embarking on internet dating people often ask the question 'which internet dating site is best for me?' Well the truth is only you know and the only way to find out is to try a few out.
Most internet dating sites have monthly subscriptions and often offer deals whereby you can try the site for free or a minimal charge. For example match.com occasionally offers a three day free trial. Dating Direct is currently offering a weeks trial for £1. In order to get these deals it's best to sign up for the internet dating sites. Sign up is free. You can read articles about various internet dating sites by clicking on the articles to the right of this one.
Internet dating used to be considered geeky and sad yet in an ever demanding society where people work long hours it has become more acceptable. People no longer want to meet potential dates in a bar or nightclub and it can be difficult to meet new people out of your social circle. Internet dating makes it much easier to meet people that you otherwise wouldn't. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes a bad thing but such is life. Don't think that you are going to hit the jackpot first time. Like anything you have to put time and effort into it and not expect too much.
If you have the right attitude internet dating can be an enjoyable experience. Like any other form of dating you are bound to have knock backs and less positive experiences. You have to kiss a lot of frogs until you find your prince! If you are relaxed, honest and don't expect too much too soon you may just find what you are looking for or even be nicely surprised!
We would love to hear your internet dating stories both good and bad so get in touch.
Which internet dating site is right for me?
Writing emails
Internet dating relies upon writing emails. This is the only way you can keep the person interested in you and hopefully end up meeting them. Therefore it's important that your personality comes across and the content is interesting so that the reader feels that they want to meet you.
Try and avoid emails of just one line such as 'how are you?' You are not going to get a long reply from this question as it doesn't leave the reader with much of an idea of what else to write. Perhaps explain what you have been up to and try and think of something interesting you did that day or an interesting story you read in the paper/saw in the news. Try and sound as natural as possible.
If you know that the person you are emailing is interested in music you could tell them about a song you heard on the radio or an album you recently bought. If they enjoy sport try and find out which team they support, if they play the sport they watch etc. You never know what interesting facts you may find out about someone. As an example a friend of mine was chatting with a man about what sports he played and found out that he used to play for a Premiership football club when he was a teenager but had to give it up because of a knee injury!
The first email you write is the important one. If you like it's the bate that you are trying to get them to bite on. Make sure you read the person's profile carefully and try and find something they mention that you have in common. This could be anything from drinking wine to walking up mountains. For the first one you could introduce yourself by saying what your favourite wine is and why and then ask them what they enjoy. If you enjoy music you could discuss a recent gig you went to or album you bought. Make sure you write about something you really are interested in or you may not be able to keep the 'conversations' going. One of the best hooks I ever heard about was someone wrote about how they hated cats in their profile. Someone saw this and wrote back how a cat had landed them in hospital but didn't say why so the chap had to email back to find out how it happened!! You have to keep the other person interested and a good way seems to be leaving a cliff hanger!!
If anyone else has some suggestions get in touch!
Love and Friends
As the name suggests Love and Friends isn't just about internet dating- it's about finding friends as well. This is a site run by normal people and not a big company so it has a more personal feel to it.
Love and Friends is simple and easy to use. It lacks some of the graphics of other online dating sites but it is easy to use and efficient. The unique selling points of Love and Friends is that, as mentioned previously, you can find friends as well. This is a good feature if you have just moved into an area. Of course there are people looking for love and to meet new people as well and the site highlights what kind of relationship a person is looking for.
The other unique selling point is that the site allows you to send a fixed number of short messages to members. If you pay a fee you can send as many messages as you want. However as an introduction to internet dating this is a good start. You can meet people without having to pay a fee! Maybe this is why they are attracting around 1000 members a week.
The search facilities on this site are not as detailed as on other internet dating sites. You can't search by postcode and distance but by region. It often doesn't say where a person lives which can be interesting.
You can search by occupation but not income. Alongside this are the usual features of age, religion, height, has children, marital status. The search facility is easy to use and you have the options of doing simple or more detailed searches.
Love and Friends is one a few internet dating dating sites that offers voice profiles and two way calling. What this means is that you can hear your potential date speaking their profile. You can also have a phone conversation through the site without having to worry that the person may have your phone number. The conversation takes place via a secure connection through the site. Security is very good on this site.
Love and Friends has a variety of features that they are constantly upgrading. Their free message system makes it very attractive if you don't want to pay. Worth a look?
My Single Friend
My Single Friend is an online dating site created by Sarah Beeny, the TV presenter. As well as offering advice on property development it appears that she also enjoys setting her friends up on dates. She has transferred this idea into an internet dating site.
The unique selling point of this internet dating site is the fact that it is your friends who write your profile and describe you. Your friend can then search the site and find people they think will be a good match for you! Choose a friend who knows you well!! Singles are also linked by who they know so you can check out each others friends to get more of an idea about the person you are interested in.
The pages are set out clearly and searching is relatively easy. You can search by all the usual methods such as postcode, age, gender, has children etc. As everyone is linked you can also check out the person's friends or people they have linked with. You can search for profiles with or without a photo as well.
All in all this is a good site that has received endorsement from Radio 1 as well as other sources such as Vogue and FHM. This internet dating site has a trendy and cool image and is mostly used by young people. The ethos is to try and make online dating less cringey by making it as natural as possible- hence the way your friends get involved, as a way to make it more sociable.
If you are wanting to keep the fact you are online dating then this isn't the site for you so check out some of the others.
This internet dating site is best used to find people in your area.
DatingDirect
Here we'll have a more in-depth look at DatingDirect. This internet dating site has recently been bought by a French company and they have made many improvements to the site. Probably why it's membership has been growing! If fact it makes the claim of being the UK's largest internet dating website.
One of the unique features of this internet dating site is the fact that it has just introduced video messaging. That's right- you can see the person as you message them! Gone are the days of sitting in your pyjamas with no make-up on emailing away! However this feature is a more life like way of communicating which means you can get to know a person better before deciding whether or not to meet them.
Dating Direct has the standard postcode, age, religion, has children searching. In comparison to some other internet dating sites we have found the search facility less intuitive. It can be quite a difficult to change your search criteria once you have fixed them.
The profile pages are well set out. The profile photos on the site can be enlarged so you can actually see them properly. Some other internet dating sites don't have this function so seeing what the person looks like can be a bit of a guessing game.
As with match.com you can search by income but it's not very precise saying only high, medium or low. The site does not specify how much you have to earn in each category so it's personal opinion only. Beware if this is important to you!!
Occupation is only divided into sector so you can't get an accurate idea of what job a person may do. Sometimes you find that people mention it in their profile.
When searching through the profiles the layout can be a bit distracting and if you click away from the main search pages it can be a difficult to get back to where you want to be. However if time is on your side this isn't too much of a hardship.
As with all the other internet dating sites, DatingDirect will contact you when someone has winked or emailed you. You will have to be a paid up member to respond, though you can check out their profile for free.
That's it for now. More information will be added as required.
Match.com
Match.com is also unique in terms of internet dating sites because it offers a 'guarantee.' Yes that's right- their slogan is 'find love guaranteed.' If you sign up for six months and fail to find love they will give you a further six months free. Please note that this offer doesn't stand if you sign up for monthly subscriptions only.
As with most online dating sites it is free to sign up and create a profile. Only once you have signed up can you search the site. You have the option of uploading a photo or remaining a mystery. Profiles with a photo are more likely to be viewed, as one of the search criteria is to choose whether or not to search profiles with or without photos. Apparently profiles with photos get ten times more attention! Make sure you choose a good photo! Remember though- people don't always look the same in real life and some people have been known to use 'fake' photos.
Match.com is unique in the way that you can search the site. They have a facility called 'matchwords' where you can type in keywords and find profiles with those words. For example if you were after someone who sailed and had blue eyes you can put these into your search. Match.com therefore allows you to search in the most minute detail. Therefore you really can search for your ideal partner. Beware though- who you think you might want may not really be your perfect match!
This internet dating site also offers searches by languages spoken, distance from a postcode, height, bodytype, whether they have children, have been previously married, age, height....the list goes on. Rather than describe it here I'd check it out yourself.
The people I have spoken with have rated Match.com as the best internet dating site. It is more expensive than some others but as they say 'you get what you pay for.' I've met quite a few people who have found partners through this dating website. So go on- take the plunge!
Comparison of online dating sites
Elsewhere on the site you'll find a more in depth look at each site. For example if how much money your potential date earns is important to you then Match.com may be the best site as you can search by income. For now take a look at the table and if you have any comments then get in touch.
You will need to scroll down the page to view the table!
| BENEFITS | Match.com | Dating Direct | My Single Friend | Love and Friends |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| No.of members | 1.4million | 3.5million | 1million | 130 000+ |
| Dating only | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| Free Emails | No | No | No | Yes |
| Privacy | 5/5 | 5/5 | 5/5 | 5/5 |
| Search Facilities | 5/5 | 3/5 | 3/5 | 4/5 |
| Ease of Use | 5/5 | 3/5 | 4/5 | 4/5 |
| Free to Join | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| Cost per month | £22.80 | £29.99 | N/A | £16.95 |
| Cost for 3 months | £45.65 £15.22/mth | £44.97 £14.99/mth | £20+VAT | £34.95 £11.65/mth |
| Cost for 6 months | £65.25 £10.88/mth | £59.94 £9.99/mth | N/A 3mth sign up | £95.95 for 12 mths |
Top Tips for online dating
Online Dating can be a minefield. Here are some of our top tips. If you have some you would like to add please leave a comment.
- Be Honest!
This may seem obvious but don't try and be someone you are not. The more honest you are about yourself the more likely you are to meet someone you really connect with.
- Be positive
No one likes to hear someone complain all the time. Make sure you put in some positive comments in your profile and emails. This will help you come across as a happy person.
- Read the person's profile properly
This will help when it comes to communicating with them and will help you decide if they are right for you. There may be some interesting facts about them that can help draft the first email.
- Ask Questions
Find out as much as you can about the person you are emailing. People generally like to talk about themselves so ask about hobbies/interests/their job etc.
- Try and write naturally
- Take it slowly
People are easily put off if you give them your phone number in the first email. It sounds a bit desparate even if you are being friendly.
- Don't give out too much personal information
Be careful about how much information you give someone until you are able to trust them. People don't need much information these days to track you down!
- Be reliable
Try and respond to emails as quickly as possible. If you don't you may miss your chance as other people may also be in the frame. If your not interested let someone know rather than leaving them hanging. Manners still apply on the internet!
- Try and find common ground
If you can find common interests it will make communicating easier. It may also lead to hints as to where to go for your first date!
Welcome!
There are plenty of internet dating sites out there waiting to take your money. Here we offer impartial reviews of these sites helping make your decision easier. We also offer some dating advice to help make sure you meet your perfect match. Click on the links opposite to find out more information.